Send out your ray of sunshine

Next Chapter

2011-10-11T21:00:00.002+02:00

I've been sitting in front of the blank paper for more than an hour now. Once again I have all these different emotions, words, feeling and thoughts inside of me, and once again I can't seem to put the out.
For quite some time I've been struggling to figure out what's the purpose of my life, and wherever I look I just see the NO sign. I'm not getting any younger, maybe not even smarter, so how and when will I see the YES?

Gratitude

2011-10-07T15:07:00.002+02:00

Today I'm grateful for Jason Mraz.

I'm grateful to be able to hear the amazing words that express all my thoughts, feelings, laughter, sorrow, love, in a way that is so humble and honest, it's almost like he is touching my heart with every word.

I'm grateful for feeling gratitude with every song, every word, every tone coming from my speakers.

I'm grateful to see Jason as my friend, despite the fact we never met.

I'm grateful to know him and his music.

With love and joy,

S

a journey

2011-07-20T15:02:00.002+02:00

I had my first anxiety attack not so long time ago. it scared me. still does, because I still have small fragments of that attack in my body. The year behind me was, don't quite know how to put that, it was good, but did not do much for my self esteem and my self confidence. Past seven months of this year, were pretty much the same.
And so here I am, at the bottom of the mountain I fell down from, trying to find some small sign that will assure me everything is going to be just fine, as always have been.

FEAR

2011-07-17T13:27:00.002+02:00

About a year ago I was asked to describe myself in three words, and one of them was BRAVE.
The truth is, I'm scared. Not a day or even a moment goes by without feeling that paralyzing fear in every cell of my body. I have this whirlwind of thoughts and questions in my head. Am I good enough, am I smart enough, am I a good friend, a good daughter, sister, aunt, employee? Am I beautiful enough? Am I worth enough? Am I worth? Am I enough?

I'm 28, and I assure you that 10 years ago I did not want my life to look like this. And I'm disappointed, and angry, and just want to know what future holds for me. At least a tiny bit of that picture.

I want to see what people saw
I want to feel like I felt before
I'd like to see the kingdom come
I want to feel forever young
I want to sing
To sing my song
I want to live in a world where I belong
I want to live
I will survive
And I believe that it won't be very long
If we turn, turn, turn, turn, turn
Then we might learn
So where's the stars?
Up in the sky
And what's the moon?
A big balloon
We'll never know unless we grow
There's so much world outside the door
I want to sing
To sing my song
I want to live in a world where I'll be strong
I want to live
I will survive
And I believe that it won't be very long
If we turn, turn, turn, turn, turn
And if we turn, turn, turn, turn
Then we might learn
Turn, turn, turn, turn
Turn, turn, turn
And if we turn, turn, turn, turn
Then we might learn
Learn to turn

a Dog Story

2011-01-08T15:52:00.003+01:00

For those who do not know, I adopted a dog in August.

A small mixed breed female dog.

I named her Tara.

She is fatty, she has a middle long white soft hair, with three black spots.

I can't even describe the happiness and joy she brings to me, and the love I have for her. I currently work as a babysitter, and each night, when I'm about to open the door, chills go trough my body, because I know that she will jump to lick me, to smell me, and lay down to cuddle her. We sleep together, I like it that way. When she wants me to wake up, she jumps over my head, until I do something. She likes to put her head below my hands, actually she lifts up my arms, and then snuggle her head below them, to hug her. Every morning when she gets back from her peeing, she lies right bellow my knees, you know in that corner you create with your legs during the sleep.

Why am I sad today.

Because my dad said the most hurt able thing ever. I know he was joking, but he did heart me really bad.

He said we could make a really good kebabs from her. Or even we can put her on a spit, and cook her. He added:"We would resolve two problems, having a dog in a house, and a meat for our patron saint - if I got all of these words right in English.

She is jumping around me at the moment, and for the first time I'm sad for that.

New Year, Old Feelings...

2011-01-03T20:04:00.003+01:00

I have this enormous destructive energy in myself, that I'm scared off.

If you cannot, I assure you that I can understand those who kill out of rage.

You would not believe how easily the black-out and short switch overcome the beauty we all have inside.

I don't like this evil twin of mine, It's how I like to call it. I hate behaving like a maniac, I hate these destructive feelings and thoughts constantly running around my head.

My wishes for each year combine in my personal mantra: Peace, Love and Understanding.

Will this year be the one where my entire being creates the circle? The whole me?

It remains to be seen.

It didn't start to well, I'm seriously sick, everything hurts me, and everything annoys me.

But do believe in love.

A year has passed...

2010-12-27T12:11:00.002+01:00

So, it's been a year now since I started this blog.

There were good days, there were bad days.

Lesson learned: Life brings you only those things you can overcome in the present moment.

I'm not sure if I'm smarter, better or wiser, but I'm conscious.

Be Love in the upcoming year.

life is good?

2010-10-30T17:08:00.002+02:00

i lost my job, and move back to my parents.

is there a better time to say that i feel like a looser, like someone who was at one point in my life, and then went three steps backwards?

i keep telling to myself that this is just a moment in time, and that shall pass, but i'm stuck in a wrong mood, angry feelings and sad faces.

i try to listen to my favorite musician, but i have troubles finding those words that lift me up and make me happy.

watching TV again, hate myself for spending days in front of it.

i don't know guys, like i'm at the beggining again - will i be better this time?

20 ways to love your body

2010-10-11T07:39:00.001+02:00

1.Think of your body as the vehicle to your dreams. Honor it. Respect it. Fuel it.
2.Create a list of all the things your body lets you do. Read it and add to it often.
3.Become aware of what your body can do each day. Remember it is the instrument of your life, not just an ornament.
4.Create a list of people you admire: people who have contributed to your life, your community, or the world. Consider whether their appearance was important to their success and accomplishments.
5.Walk with your head held high, supported by pride and confidence in yourself as a person.
6.Don’t let your weight or shape keep you from activities that you enjoy.
7.Wear comfortable clothes that you like, that express your personal style, and that feel good to your body.
8.Count your blessings, not your blemishes.
9.Think about all the things you could accomplish with the time and energy you currently spend worrying about your body and appearance. Try one!
10.Be your body’s friend and supporter, not its enemy.
11.Consider this: your skin replaces itself once a month, your stomach lining every five days, your liver every six weeks, and your skeleton every three months. Your body is extraordinary–begin to respect and appreciate it.
12.Every morning when you wake up, thank your body for resting and rejuvenating itself so you can enjoy the day.
13.Every evening when you go to bed, tell your body how much you appreciate what it has allowed you to do throughout the day.
14.Find a method of exercise that you enjoy and do it regularly. Don’t exercise to lose weight or to fight your body. Do it to make your body healthy and strong and because it makes you feel good. Exercise for the Three F’s: Fun, Fitness, and Friendship.
15.Think back to a time in your life when you felt good about your body. Tell yourself you can feel like that again, even in this body at this age.
16.Keep a list of 10 positive things about yourself–without mentioning your appearance. Add to it!
17.Put a sign on each of your mirrors saying, “I’m beautiful inside and out.”
18.Choose to find the beauty in the world and in yourself.
19.Start saying to yourself, “Life is too short to waste my time hating my body this way.”
20.Eat when you are hungry. Rest when you are tired. Surround yourself with people that remind you of your inner strength and beauty.

life goes on

2010-10-08T08:38:00.002+02:00

If I look back on the past few weeks, the only thing I wanna do is to scream.

I've been telling to my friends how I believe that life gives you only those things than you can cope with at the best time in your life.

But being over analytical, as usual, I can't stop asking and searching for a meaning of these past few experiences I had to and have to experience.

Sometimes it's to much. I don't have enough energy, positive words and willingness to overcome everyday bullshits.

I wonder how does it feel when you are doing something truly amazing and wonderful that impacts peoples lives?

It could be that my dream about going to India and working with the poor is what I desire.

i hate people today!

2010-09-30T06:10:00.000+02:00

JGL

2010-09-28T07:39:00.003+02:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6zMwGkY7z4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtYfs4NlQWM&feature=related

?

2010-09-28T05:20:00.003+02:00

waiting in front of the white page ( just above to say black ) for an hour now.

just staring, with so messy mind, that feels like it's empty.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZawVNKJdSD0

cannot stop listening to it.

how does it feel

2010-09-21T09:15:00.000+02:00

Jason explained that he wrote this for a child he met during his recent trip to Ghana as part of his involvement with the Free the Slaves organiza

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOQofCNAoXE&feature=recentf

smile

2010-09-20T10:48:00.003+02:00

I was listening to my favorite artist last night, and I don't really know what happened, but this morning I woke up in a different state of mind and shape of a body. Smile is on my face, things are appear to be different and I can only hope for this state to last.

I'm returning to my yoga classes tonight and I'm scared and excited at the same time.

I hope that this time I will finish my first three levels, and that in May next year I will be calm, whole and in peace with myself and the rest of the world.

Namaste,

S

speechless

2010-09-17T08:46:00.002+02:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2D9XN1Hzjas

new songs!

2010-09-15T08:05:00.003+02:00

amazingly funny, lovely, whole.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwHUfAxQK8k

people?

2010-09-10T12:05:00.003+02:00

as the day passes by I keep wondering more and more, do I even know the smallest thing about the life, about the people?

everything confuses me, and, today, I'm tired of the world.

need peace and quiet, and water to swim in, and sun and fruit and walks and a really good book.

what, when, where, and more important why!

2010-08-31T10:48:00.002+02:00

is this hell, or just feels like it?

People screaming around me, at me, demanding, and I feel like I'm in a circle, and everyone wants a piece of me, pulling out not a piece, but the whole me.

People are greedy, and I know that you know how money transforms even the best and the kindest person in the entire world.

I'm not sure if I capable to live in this kind of a world, I'm not sure if I have all what does it take to live amongst these sharks of people. Who invented money anyway, why does it so fucking much rules this stupid world!!!

be.

2010-08-25T17:35:00.003+02:00

Well, I hate PMS!

And fool moon too!

Who invented those things anyway!

I had a fight with my mom today, actually it was such a mess, public fight, crying and leaving her and my older sister in the middle of a street.

I have serious identity crisis and not sure where I am at the moment, and if what I'm doing is any good.

And now I feel sorry and angry, and gosh, such a mess. My mom didn't do anything wrong, but not sure if she did anything good, though.

The thing I was always missing in my family is a support. Today I needed that too, but didn't get it.

And I miss being happy, and really want to know what happiness is...

Trying to be me,

S

talking about forgiveness

2010-08-21T10:31:00.005+02:00

what's hard for me to forgive my parents, is leaving Slovenia.

why am I crazy

2010-08-19T11:05:00.002+02:00

Those of you who know me, well.., you are very familiar with my mood swings.
Some of you even make jokes about it, which is pretty awesome, I have to admit.

But in reality, if you are me, let me tell you, fun is not the word I would use to describe it.

I know I can be hard to deal with, even to talk, I know that I put walls between the rest of the world and myself, I know I'm cranky, evil sometimes.

And if you don't know, I will tell you now, I'm sorry because of that, but there is not much I can do, except to be away from you.

That's why I'm being quiet and pushing you away, just to avoid having a fight for no reason, and no meaning.

Girls will understand me, it's like having constant PSM - the worst one.

Why do I blog about this?

Because people around me started noticing I'm not ok.

And that hurts the most.

Because I cannot keep fooling myself anymore, I'm not good.

My body is tired, my mind is full and locked in a constant time pursue and in a rush to do more and more and more. Just for the pleasure. Hm.

That's all for now, I guess there is more to come.

With love,

S

a hero

2010-08-19T10:28:00.003+02:00

you would be crazy not to love this guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErLQjnwtVWQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dq1HJI76RbU&feature=related

sad day

2010-08-18T07:00:00.002+02:00

on a day like this, i just need someone to hold me and say i love you.

the one and only, love

2010-08-16T21:18:00.002+02:00

he keeps rolling

2010-08-16T05:46:00.004+02:00

my biggest inspiration ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8S35a60s1RQ&playnext=1&videos=haPqgxTfua8&feature=sub

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yy5nNxIfLCA&feature=channel

question (s ) of a day...

2010-08-14T12:35:00.002+02:00

I have just realized that my world is actually running around two daily questions:

What to eat...

and

What to wear...

fake people seeing today

2010-08-13T09:48:00.000+02:00

A fake person is someone who is not genuine and will do whatever it takes to make themself look good. They will take credit for other's work or down play the good of others to illuminate oneself. Fake people take part in hipocrisy, lies, and will turn on friendship the moment it no longer is a benefit for them. They will change thier personality to fit in to a certain group.

i think you're the same as me

2010-08-13T05:55:00.001+02:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa163ZXdtnI&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-j0wnt_fRE&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38Oh02l5rYE&feature=related

morning breeze needed

2010-08-13T05:26:00.001+02:00

memories

2010-08-12T07:25:00.003+02:00

This song brings back so many beautiful memories...

Missing Oman.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCVLDnEc7hc&feature=related

special post for a special person

2010-08-12T07:03:00.001+02:00

To my lovely friend Dunja,

20 reasons to love giraffes...

Enjoy my dear.

http://www.disaboomlive.com/blogs/hopefulnebula/archive/2009/01/02/20-reasons-i-love-giraffes.aspx

A new position

2010-08-10T08:53:00.004+02:00

Recently I have been moved to a new position, HR Manager, or Coordinator, or a Team Leader - don't really know

It's all I ever wanted, so my life these days is better and better. And the fact that I have moved to a morning shift, after a year, it's just wonderful.

To describe the best as I can, what do I actually do, I decided to post following picture:

We have announced three positions, so I spend my days going trough the CVs that people have send.

So until the next weekend, and a bit more time,

In awesome state of mind,

Sandra

weird, different, or, yet, normal?

2010-08-08T13:31:00.003+02:00

First of all, do not ever Google word weird and look for the pictures. That's scary.

Anyway, two posts today. Wow.

As I'm getting older, these two words are becoming more and more used in my presence.

Motherhood and marriage.

My parents, my family and, of course, let us not forget the society, they all expect that, as a gal approaches her young 30s, to have a wedding ring on her right hand, or even a child or two.

I despite that idea.

As matter of fact, as I'm getting older, the whole idea about having a husband and bunch of kids is shading in my mind.
And I keep asking myself, is everything ok with me?

I mean, all of my friends have a certain idea and a wish to find that "until the end of the time" person, and yet, I stand alone in my wishes of not changing my last name, ever.

I do not run away from an idea of having someone to love, and to be loved, but I ask you, is there a possibility of being happy without the marriage and kids thing?

For me, the ultimate happiness is a possibility to make people around me happy.

If that makes me weird, let it be.

With love,

S

what to wear?

2010-08-08T10:57:00.002+02:00

No matter how different we girls are, and no matter what we want from our lives, and who do we want to be, there is a thing where all of us are the same.

The ultimate question is WHAT TO WEAR TONIGHT?

I'm invited to this wedding. And I kinda want to skip my usual style ideas,which is hard.

I want to impress, myself, as well as others, especially when I'm not in my best state of mind, and when I need to hear nice things about myself.

I also want to have fun at the wedding party, want to dance, spin the fire, be myself.

So after careful consideration, after closing thousands and thousands of google images, trying to find my perfect self in others, I have decided to keep it simple and to wear high heels ( first time for me ), pair of good jeans, white t shirt and blue blazer.

So stay tuned,

S

where is the inner peace?

2010-08-06T17:30:00.002+02:00

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Inner peace (or peace of mind) refers to a state of being mentally and spiritually at peace, with enough knowledge and understanding to keep oneself strong in the face of discord or stress. Being "at peace" is considered by many to be healthy (homeostasis) and the opposite of being stressed or anxious. Peace of mind is generally associated with bliss and happiness.
Peace of mind, serenity, and calmness are descriptions of a disposition free from the effects of stress. In some cultures, inner peace is considered a state of consciousness or enlightenment that may be cultivated by various forms of training, such as prayer, meditation, T'ai Chi Ch'uan or yoga, for example. Many spiritual practices refer to this peace as an experience of knowing oneself. Finding inner peace is often associated with traditions such as Buddhism and Hinduism.

Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, emphasizes the importance of inner peace in the world:
The question of real, lasting world peace concerns human beings, so basic human feelings are also at its roots. Through inner peace, genuine world peace can be achieved. In this the importance of individual responsibility is quite clear; an atmosphere of peace must first be created within ourselves, then gradually expanded to include our families, our communities, and ultimately the whole planet.

i'm addicted to your lies

2010-08-05T05:15:00.002+02:00

Beautiful...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1h-WdWI-_c

some nice wall things

2010-08-04T07:01:00.006+02:00

a music therapy

2010-08-02T07:06:00.002+02:00

I woke up in the shitty state of mind.

But he wonderful world of music, wonderful world of music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKIvi13R4o0&feature=related

Fresh again,

Coraleene

don't like sundays

2010-08-01T14:26:00.002+02:00

for me it's the loneliest day in the week.

trying to adopt this dog

2010-07-31T16:11:00.000+02:00

James McAvoy

2010-07-26T07:24:00.001+02:00

oldy but goody

2010-07-26T05:11:00.000+02:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bfd8_B10x9g

daydreaming

2010-07-23T06:20:00.005+02:00

Forgot to mention I’m insane by definition

2010-07-23T03:26:00.002+02:00

Sometimes I know I'm taking things to serious, and that makes my life a bit harder than I would like to be.

Trough the years I have learned, and still do, to enjoy in each day I have pleasure to experience. God knows, how many times I have made mistakes, on this journey. I think it's because I'm trying to be perfect. And during trying this, I do not allow myself to fall down. Sometimes this path I wish to follow is unclear, and it takes me a bit of time to find the steps.

Being a control freak is freakish. And there are no words that can possibly help, because you are loosing a control, and that's the thing you cannot stand.
My good friend told me that the thing she respects the most about me, is the fact that I do whatever I like, no matter what others feel or say. It's like, I'm being me. I was proud to hear that, and I personally think it's the only way to survive in this society which is build on stories constructed about other people lives.

But at the same time, I'm asking myself what's the point of being myself?

Is there a reward waiting for me, for acting like this, or being myself is a reward itself?

I do enjoy in it, I wouldn't want to be anything else.

But I keep repeating myself, isn't it supposed to be easier, being me?

I keep thinking there is a higher purpose of my life, which I'm yet to discover.

I'm not saying I'm not happy. Because I am. For the first time in my life, I feel happy everyday. So, I'm the lucky one.

I would just like to relax and enjoy without asking so many questions.

With all the love,

S

TEDxBelgrade

2010-07-19T01:17:00.006+02:00

ON a particularly hot day of July, TEDx conference was held in Belgrade.

I was there, of course.

I'm not gonna tell you about the organization, or communication, or about the design of the conference.

I will tell you about my favorite speaker, which, I honestly hope, will be my partner in my future projects.

Ladies and gentleman,

www.nonobjectbook.com.

this time it's marion cotillard

2010-07-15T23:17:00.002+02:00

Is there anyone that's more beautiful than she?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W76WUvtonX8&feature=related

cool school

2010-07-15T00:00:00.002+02:00

www.greenschool.org

some of the inspiring people...

2010-07-12T03:22:00.008+02:00

... I would like to meet.

Welcome to my world

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzX9jHB3LfA

The Blend Apparel

2010-07-09T00:28:00.001+02:00

Sandra!!

That's AMAZING!

Thank YOU so much for letting us know! We LOVE your feedback!

We LOVE that you are super willing to stay in contact with us and we LOVE that you are super willing to wear our t-shirts!
It brings us so much JOY!

We are really proud to have you wearing our t-shirts! We are a fan of YOU!
Can't wait to see the pictures.

Thank you again, friend!

All the LOVE!

Team Blend

how little we need to be happy

2010-07-08T01:56:00.002+02:00

One of my friends said a funny thing the other day. He said, she will blog about us, when she feels happy.
And today I do.

I really feel happy.

I had two amazing days, full of surprises, which reminded me how little I need to feel happy and fulfilled.

I finally received my BLEND shirts, which makes me a first walking ambassador of love in Serbia from today. Isn't that simply wonderful?

My city is occupied with the beautiful people from all around the world - all with the same goal: to have fun at the upcoming EXIT festival.

The vibe of the city I love is truly amazing.

I have also been accepted to the TEDx conference.

So what more could I wish?

Music that touched each and every part of my body, and friends, my beautiful friends.

In joy,
and finally fresh,

S

all we need is love

2010-07-04T22:34:00.003+02:00

“The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.” Mother Teresa

“I've got everything I need except a man. And I'm not one of those women who thinks a man is the answer to everything, but I'm tired of being alone.”

what's the point

2010-06-30T00:25:00.003+02:00

sorry guys, but I feel like a crap today, I mean, what's the point!!!

don't you want to share the guilt?

2010-06-24T23:13:00.003+02:00

BBQ food is good
You invite me out to eat it, I should...
Go, but I'm feeling kind of nervous
And not quite myself
So I'm running late on purpose
And I know this wont help
How things have become between us
But if I go you'll give me hell
And that I dont know how to fix it
Is making me unwell
Well

I arrive at your house
But you've just got up
And you are wearing a towel
And your eyes look dark
I help to dry your body
And I see your cut
So I give you a plaster
And we cover it up
I say "Have you been crying?"
And you say "Shut Up"
So we sit in the garden
And touch the grass
With our hands

The sun is going down now
And it's been okay
You tell me all the things you did
While I was away
And this worries me somewhat
You say you're fine

Listen
Can you hear it?
Does it speak?
Will I feel it?
Will it hurt?
Am I near it?
I dont know

I dont know how more people havent got mental health problems
Thinking is one of those stressful things I've ever come across
And not being able to articulate what I want to say drives me crazy
I think I should read some more books
Learn some new words
My sister used to read the dictionary
I'm going to start with that
I'd like to travel
I want to see India and the pyramids
A whale and that race with all the bicycles in France
I'm not sure about rivers, they scare me
But I love swimming, I'm good at it
And when I swim I count the laps
And this helps me relax
When I was younger I saw a house burn down
I walked past it for the next six years
Derelict, black, chalky and dangerous
I wondered if squatters lived there
I'm still not sure but I know there will never be parties cuz its a shit-hole
After a while the council got round to tidying the town
They decided it was an eyesore so they tore it down
Behind the house was a wall with a few bits of crabby graffiti and the word 'Cunt' written in giant letters
And now I walk past that
I like going to the park
And I like walking through it
I like taking my dogs there
And friends, and I like being alone
I like being able to shout
But I wish I could be quiet
When I'm quiet people just think I'm sad
And usually I am
Sometimes when I'm at a really noisy train station
Somewhere with the fast trains like Kings Cross
I feel like putting down my bags and shouting things out because I've got something to say

Don't you want to share the guilt?
Don't think, just try and sleep

Kate Nash

words i cannot bring together

2010-06-23T00:51:00.004+02:00

"I feel love in the house tonight, that's all there is."

Some of the comments, others have posted.

I've only been a fan for a few weeks...because someone on youtube mentioned his name.
I guess I'm hooked because all his stuff doesn't seem to have been passed through a filter of executives at a music company.
They guy just appears genuine...and proud of it.

T E R R I F I C! this performance is a masterpiece!!! this guy is born to make a music that just mesmerizes you! he is an incredible songwriter, vocalist and performer. what mostly attracts me that he is so honest in his songs, he writes from his heart,about his feelings and he does it perfectly. he is open to his listeners and knows the language to communicate with them. he is frank and simple. I just love him and his music

So fantastic. I love the idea of this. It's like he's just playing for himself because he loves to. He just wants to sing his song, regardless of any approval or encouragement from anyone. Out of all the recordings I've heard of this, this is the most intimate and heartfelt

this song. this version, is going to be at my funeral. just amazing. this man.. hes just phenomenal. I'm kinda glad he hasnt made it fully mainstream because only his fans right now fully appreciate his music and his talent. It's kinda like he belongs to us :) He's so in touch with his fans and appreciates us as much as we appreciate him. Long live Jason Mraz, the most underrated artist there will ever be.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--3cakcsgCo&feature=related

first walking messanger of love...

2010-06-22T00:49:00.002+02:00

first time in Serbia, soon.

I'll leave it to you to give the name to this post

2010-06-15T23:50:00.005+02:00

I don't really know when I discovered Jason Mraz. I think, at first, I kinda hatted his "I'm yours" - God knows why.

Today I cannot imagine my day wihtout his songs, or words. He is the reason I decided to start blogging, he is the reason I'm trying to make a change, to be a change. And let me tell you, it's hard. But each time when I feel like I'm fighting the invisible battle, his magic words, peace and endless love for the life and the world, makes me keep going. So yes, maybe not the reason, but strength for sure.

He is kind, honest, true, grateful, peaceful, the change, love and only human in this mainly mad world.

I wish for myself to be like that. I wish for the entire world to be like that. I don't think that's a silly dream.

Sometimes I think his life purpose is to make other people happy and make this planet we call our home a better place for all of us.

It's hard for me to choose the correct words to describe my thoughts and emotions.

Let me just say what he taught me,

Be Love.

to hot to think.

2010-06-15T00:51:00.002+02:00

...

summer is here.

and no water to take a swim.

Danube is to filthy.

pure love.

2010-06-06T22:25:00.002+02:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzd_RfaoMcs

running in circle

2010-06-03T21:09:00.003+02:00

I had a hell of a week, and it's not over yet. I heard somewhere that yet is a quite sad word - today I understand why.

I'm somewhere in between. I don't really know whether I have started something, or whether I have just finished.

I haven't seen my friends for a while now, and I keep asking myself, when am I going to find some time to have a coffee with some of the closest ones. When I'm not working, I'm sleeping. And more important, when I do work, everyone else is sleeping. It's hard. I fell like I'm loosing my life purpose, and I'm not sure if I ever was sure what exactly that is. I need to do something good!

I want to adopt a dog - and I'm thinking why would I do that - when I'm not quite sure if I'm going to be able to take a proper care about myself.

I keep thinking that some people much easier deal with everyday problems, easier than me.

My body is so tired, my mind is confused, and still I don't think I'm bad. At least I don't feel bad.

I just need some order in my life.

It's hard, really hard.

rain

2010-05-31T14:41:00.004+02:00

It's raining again.

Go for it! Make a Difference!

2010-05-26T10:08:00.000+02:00

Food has always been an important thing in my life. I've spent my early teenage days in a kitchen, cooking, experimenting, chopping, mixing, and bringing a smile to my family's faces.

When I was a kid, I would cry like crazy if my parents would offer me a green vegetable thing. I remember how my father would use to make us eat spinach and my trowing up face each time when I would put just a bit of it in my mouth.

Later trough the years, food became a sort of a therapy for me. Everything would make sense in the kitchen. There isn't anything in the whole world that can bring such a comfort on a bad day. And let me tell you, I have had them. But when a food becomes a therapy session, it creates so many problems, which I have become aware of, only recently. Becoming bigger and bigger, is only one, possibly, the smallest thing.

I remember how I used to sit in my room, alone, not having any friends, and not showing interest in making any. Well, why would I? You cannot depend on them. And yet, food was always there.

Do you know to how many doctors my mother took me, because I wasn't able to process the food. I can still remember all the stomach ache and horrible cramps I was experiencing.

Approximately a decade ago ( during my TV addiction ) I have discovered this " naked chef ". I was instantly attracted to his passion for cooking, and I have became a regular follower of his shows. Luckily I was raised in a culture where home cooking is not a strange action that no one practices, so it was quite easy to follow his advices and to create a fabulous dish.

As I was becoming older, my perspective on food didn't change a lot. But what have changed is my knowledge of a food.

So I'm a vegetarian now. It started as a "love for animals", and yes, I still refuse to kill in order to have a meal. For some time I was quite happy whit the relationship and a perspective I have for the food. Then I've started reading and exploring and trying to make some influence to the people I was surrounded. I was out of my mind angry when I became aware that my 6 years old niece is having a potato chips for a breakfast. Each morning! So I started explaining to her what will that chips do to her body, and what healthy food is. And what's scary is the fact that me, 27 year old vegetarian, did not put a green vegetable in her body for months! And let me not started with the preparing the food for myself.

You gonna see me in a big supermarket reading the ingredients on the back of each product I think I wanna buy. And you gonna see me putting back each product I take, because it's all sugar and artificial things.

I keep reminding myself to cook, and I live alone, so all of you with the same situation, you know how hard is to cook only for one person.

I keep reminding myself to go to the market and buy some salad, it's spring, so there is a plenty of things. I still haven't done it.

So, I'm concerned about my health. Sometimes I get pissed of to myself, because I don't take care. Today I cried. I watched Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. And it's amazing, wonderful, beautiful, important, mind blowing, honest and deserves a respect from every person in this planet.

I honestly think that this is the greatest thing in the whole world that has ever been done. Why? Well, the food it's just a beginning. When we change the food we are eating, we can change the world. This revolution can resolve and clear the economy a big companies monopoly. Health issues and modern diseases will no longer exist. It can create a healthy relationship with the food, and a relationship among the people.

That's why I support Jamie, that's why I commit to eat good, start cooking again, and becoming a public speaker to "processed food" issues.

My friends, I might become annoying.

Making a Difference!

opposites

2010-05-21T04:25:00.000+02:00

My Thursday was filled whit mixed and opposite emotions.

I was feeling marvelous after reading a new blog entry from my favorite blogger, and I was pissed off after a fight I had whit my sister, and happy for finally making a proper food to eat, and angry because of another raining afternoon, and spilled coffee, and excited to come to work to my newly assigned duties, and furious because people do not act the way I want to.

I love to feel! Isn't it the most fabulous thing in the world? To feel?

So why this blog entry?

All of these mixed up emotions made me think.

So I fell all the love in this world for a virtual guy, which I don't really know if I'll ever meet, and when it comes to real, everyday people, why do I so easily loose this love?

Why can I whit the same desire expect whit what will my 6 years old niece surprise me next.

Why do I so easily hang up on my sister?

When did I last time said to my mother I love you? And I do.

I think I'm scared of emotions. I don't even know how to recognize all of them and which names to give them. My parents never learned me how. They never supported the whole idea of expressing the emotions. And now when my feelings are so strong that I feel my body is going to fall apart, my body reacts in a self - defense way.

Tears in the eyes, uncontrollable laughter, and what's the voice that's coming out from my mouth?

And no matter if those are positive emotions, my body is fighting.

My dear friends, please push to my emotions.

you never know...

2010-05-17T23:13:00.000+02:00

what will new day bring to you.

on this unusually cold day of May, I had ( and still do ) the pleasure to enjoy in the beautiful sounds of she & him.

Something old, but jet different, and surprisingly refreshing and easy, and somehow I feel like I'm driving a car on a worm spring day and the wind is playing whit my hair...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v484pIis_qQ

Be Love,

S

lucky to be:

2010-05-08T09:42:00.001+02:00

TED translator.

On this very special day I wanna tell you more about TED.
I have been translating TED talks for quite few months now, and I wish that all of my friends would do the exact same thing.

Why?

Because we are strangers, and we rarely do talk about the things that are important to us, about things we would like to change, and the ways to do so.

Why TED?

Because TED will give you a brand new perspective about the world, people, world problems, world humor, science and passion.

In a funny and interesting way, you will realize how easy is to be a better person in this world.

How simple ideas can create new world, where environment, hunger, pollution, processed food, health and peace issues are not issues, but part of our global past.

Do you think we can do it?

Do you think we can awake people and make them visible?

I do.

Otherwise, I wouldn't be blogging about it.

Your Eco - friendly friend,

S.

I'll keep on dancing through the night

2010-04-07T01:56:00.000+02:00

When I dance, I feel free

Cause dancing makes me feel beautiful

Once I am moving, I'm alright

lets join

2010-04-05T23:03:00.000+02:00

http://www.onedaywithoutshoes.com/index2.php

Stay Fresh ( from 27.03.2010)

2010-03-31T23:17:00.000+02:00

O, you wouldn’t believe how happy I feel at right this moment!

I cleaned my flat, I’m enjoying in the first days of sun, and with the cup of coffee I entered the world today.

To say that I’m crazy about blend apparel would be a lie. To say that I just got an opportunity to wear their hugs, it’s a crazy fantasy that will come true.

I just received amazing email from the beautiful and fresh people in blend apparel, and they are so happy to shift few shirts to Serbia, that you can’t even imagine that happiness.

So the good old chain reaction has put a smile on my face, and in my heart, my soul is happy and I wish to myself to stay fresh in the days which are coming.

Love out first time in Serbia very soon.

Stay fresh my friend, and I’ll join you.

Peace out.

where are the things i used to love

2010-03-24T23:43:00.000+01:00

so, when I started this blog, I kinda hopped I'll truly share my ray of sunshine with you.

Lately I don't think I shine at all.

It's not that I'm ( I can't find the best word ), I just realized I'm angry, really angry, pissed off, and that makes me impossible to feel love and to see kindness and the beauty in the streets and my friends.

Spring has come to my town - I'm missing it.

don't you know how to be nice

2010-03-23T03:03:00.000+01:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IATJhRjuj2Q&feature=player_embedded

green quotes

2010-03-05T00:06:00.000+01:00

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all. ~Robert Orben

The Earth has a skin and that skin has diseases, one of its diseases is called man.

- Friedrich Nietzsche Philosopher 1844-1900

"There must be new contact between men and the earth; the earth must be newly seen and heard and felt and smelled and tasted; there must be a renewal of the wisdom that comes with knowing clearly the pain and the pleasure and the risk and the responsibility of being alive in this world". - Wendell Berry

"If we destroy more forests, burn more garbage, drift-net more fish, burn more coal, bleach more paper, destroy more topsoil, poison more insects, build over more habitats, dam more rivers, produce more toxins & radioactive waste, we are creating a vast industrial machine, not for living in, but for dying in." - William McDonough & Paul Hawken

"What we are doing to the forests of the world is but a mirror reflection of what we are doing to ourselves and to one another. As Gandhi said." - Chris Maser, Forest Primeval

"There is a very close interdependence between the natural environment and the sentient beings living in it. We share the earth not only with our fellow human beings, but with all the other creatures that live on the land, in the sea or in the air. Life is as dear to each of them as it is to us. Like us they not only wish to be happy, but they have a right to achieve happiness and overcome suffering. " - The Dalai Lama

mr. a-z

2010-02-26T23:14:00.000+01:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNONaiOM7aA&feature=PlayList&p=63DBA3FAD4CE1C7D&index=11

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVbJf0op0HQ&feature=PlayList&p=63DBA3FAD4CE1C7D&index=41

Long live drum

2010-02-23T12:28:00.000+01:00

in times of need, this is like heaven.

http://virb.com/djjelow

easy to be passionate.

2010-02-20T01:39:00.000+01:00

Do the Green Thing.

My first TED translation is over :).

am I thinking to much

2010-02-16T19:14:00.000+01:00

I’m counting almost 24h of not sleeping, and I already feel consequences. I’m nervous, jelling, have no patience. And I hate myself for acting like this.

My brain is in a box and I’m finding hard to come up with a new idea, or to say something that could inspire someone. Mind = closed 24h.

I stopped practicing yoga, and this is a result of it.

Random thoughts at creepy time.

2010-02-15T20:05:00.000+01:00

I’ll soon be 27, who would say that this will be my scary age?

It’s not about getting older, it’s the responsibility and expectations that comes with it.

It’s also about what am I going to do with my life, what’s the meaning of it.

I don’t have a plan for the future or even an idea where I want to be in 10 years, I’m still trying to figure how to deal with present and everyday obstacles.

It’s 4 in the morning, isn’t that ironic?

Proper description of my current state would be lost…

I’m not happy with my current job, and that pulls out all of my energy.

Very good friend of mine always wanted to be a hero, and I have always admired that goal of hers.

For me, it was all about changing the world. Not such a stupid dream, but quite hard to accomplish.

I never wanted everything. I never wanted big money, although it is nice to have it.

I always wanted to find inner peace which will keep me going.

I’m happy when I’m able to help, when I have an answer to a question.

I miss being passionate about things I love and do in my life.

Job I’m doing now, I’m not sure if I can explain what’s wrong whit it, why I have more bad then good thoughts on my mind. I keep running in a giant circle, and keep missing the exit sign. I feel invisible, and helpless…

Maybe this is the best time to ask myself why I am still here. Like I haven’t asked this question before.

Since these are random thoughts, I have one more on my mind.

That waiter at the favorite bar.

I wonder if he has the same smile for everyone?

However - I’m tired of it.

Imagineering, spotless mind and freedom

2010-02-06T16:17:00.001+01:00

Before I entered a word I typed Freedom into google, because I wanted to add a picture to this post. And these are the results:

I have wrote 100 words, and I deleted them all. My mind is full of words, and I feel they are a crap. I want to say something inspiring to myself, and then to the one and only person that is following this blog ( thank you Dunja), but my dear, we know it all.

So to avoid repeating myself, I'll keep my mouth shut, and my mind opened.

Stay fresh.

4 a.m. - TED.com

2010-02-01T03:25:00.000+01:00

When you enter TED.com it's not so easy to step out.

Especially when you laugh at something like this.

http://www.ted.com/talks/rives_on_4_a_m.html

i(k)eas i(d)eas simpo(leas)

2010-01-28T14:39:00.001+01:00

Artist of the week -I guess

2010-01-25T15:11:00.000+01:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09xqvTA_pWw&feature=fvst

Big Lights Will Inspire You

2010-01-22T05:34:00.000+01:00

after a hard working day and week...

like a never heard this before...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjuJyeMGKZg

I just love her love for this song.

Book of Dreams

2010-01-14T18:04:00.000+01:00

In my book of dreams you couldn’t find a single story, not one… until recently.

And I’m not talking about day dreams, where you are imagining things you would like to have, like: the perfect friends, perfect significant other, perfect life, job, wedding etc… I’m referring to the actual during-the-sleep dreams.

I think I can count on my fingers the nights when I actually had a dream, and the sad thing is I cannot really remember what was in the dream I had, except that it was some ordinary everyday situation. Sometimes I catch myself in a “déjà vu” situation, which I’ve already gone trough in my dreams and I know what is going to happen next, and that experience is freezing and frightening for me. It’s like I’m some kind of a prophet if I can use this word.

But past dreams are not the reason to posting my thoughts. Just the opposite, I’m full of dreams this year, so full that there are moments where I cannot say if something actually happened in the reality or it is just a picture from my dreams. This experience is fresh and new to me, and it absolutely blows my mind. Is it time to ask myself, am I loosing my common sense? If is it true what Froyd said about dreams, than for sure I’m in the most normal stage of my life.

My legs are in the sea, I’m trying to figure a way to cross to the other side of the rocks, and suddenly something is lifting me and I’m loosing myself in the air and becoming a part of it, I’m becoming the air, the rock, the sea, I can see things from the top and the bottom, from the inside, from the outside, all at the same time, everything that exists in this world at the same time, being all of that at the same time. Is this a dream? Are my eyes closed? Why can I feel the smile on my face? Why am I conscious? Why am I running from this dream and opening my eyes, is it the fear of the magnificent whatever I think this is?

Why every dream I dream these days are related to water?

I’m laying in the sun, concrete beach, sea looks like pool, J is here, my dad as well, he understands English. We are in the car, this time T is here too, J takes my hand, playing with it, I look like I’ve just got out from a French movie, and I’m in the sea again, trying to avoid big ships… Wtf???

Should I try to find a secret meaning to it? Is there any secret meaning? Is there a reason for not having dreams in the past, and to have them now in this moment? My friend said a wonderful thing to me; dreams are reflections of our fears and our wishes/desires. I couldn’t agree more. But I would like to add a thought to it. My personal belief is that dreams come to us when we truly live our lives, when we feel things, when we are in touch with our emotions, when we are bold enough to be ourselves in the reality.

So simple…

The Smiths Night

2010-01-06T14:51:00.000+01:00

There is a storm outside and I have troubles sleeping this night.

Morrissey is singing. I think The Smiths are perfect for this weather. I forgot how much I love his songs. Maybe it crossed your mind that I’m “Miserable now”, but fortunately it is just the opposite.

I love the way this year started. And I wish for the entire year to be colored with simple but wonderful moments I already had a pleasure to experience. It took me a long time to realize that I have to start being grateful for everything in my life, and I hated myself each day (just a bit) because I just couldn’t find that feeling in me. I can proudly say that this year begun with experiencing and realizing amazing state of mind, gratitude. I can easily say: I’m grateful for my friends, and for the love and honesty they have for me. I’m grateful for the time they are willing to share, for every story and feeling they have the need to give me, and for my joy in accepting its. I’m grateful for the love and respect I feel for my friends and family, and grateful to finally have the courage to show them this. I feel like I’m free from the ghosts of the past and that I don’t have anymore place inside of me for the past deeds anger. It’s like someone took a really heavy baggage off of my soul I would say.

One of the things I was surprised to see among my friends is the ability to easily and happily acknowledge my presence. And not just mine. And not just the presence. Of course I wondered how come I didn’t see this before, and the only explanation I can find is in a book I have just finished reading, and which I strongly recommend: “Ensaio sobre a Cegueira” – “Blindness” from Jose Saramago. We have all became so consuming and fast living that we started to being blind while there is nothing wrong with our eyes. And being like that we are missing all the small joys that life offers, like simple ”Thank you”. I don’t wanna judge myself or the others, and I’m sure this is not the first time you heard this. I just want to and I’m gonna start to pay the attention, no matter how hard it may be. I wish for myself to acknowledge the presence of me, and the presence of my friends and family. And being hard with words, this is a though one.

So the “mission” for this year is to find a reason in each day to say:” Now my heart is full”.

This is the “Life resolution”.

In Joy…

Without plan or agenda…

2009-12-31T15:58:00.000+01:00

Just because I’m staying home alone on 31^st.

There is no better time than now to:

Go Green
Be Happy
Be Honest
Smile
Live Peacefully
Love
Listen Well
Live Surprised
Stay Fresh
Adopt A Pet
Learn
Give
Be Grateful
Help
Be A Friend
Be What Ever You Wish

Vision Board

2009-12-30T17:30:00.000+01:00

Question mark. AKA - single in a friendship.

2009-12-29T20:32:00.000+01:00

I just finished reading an article about friendships which quite honest describes what makes our relationships with other people real and fulfilling. And suddenly the question popped up in my head, are my friendships good; am I happy with the way I choose who I’m gonna let into my world? Not quite.

I find it hard to trust people. I don’t think people are mean, I’m not afraid I’m gonna be hurt by others, I’m not afraid of leaving or ending… I have a feeling that my world will crash if I relieve my thoughts and fears. I’m scared that I’m not gonna be able to accept the words that my lips are pronouncing. My friends don’t know much about me, even though they ask all the time, but on most of the questions I do not give an answer. I’ve been too many times in a situation where people tried to change the way I think or the way I live, simple because it is not ordinary and I do not fit in a typical picture of a girl in this country. I wonder why is that? Do people feel better about themselves when they are trying to fit you into the usual category? Or this habit just makes our lives easier?

Why everything has to be labeled? Why do we have to fit into just one category? And if we do not, are we not “good enough”, “normal”, and “wanted”? I personally hate labels, and I refuse to define myself. Can I be “all inclusive”? Can we all? I’m wondering why it is so hard to be honest, fragile, why I am scared to have floss. Maybe it is because I have big expectations from myself, maybe I’m the one who doesn’t want to accept that I’m “all inclusive”? Could it be that this is the reason why I fell like an alien among the people? Could it be that we are all playing some kind of game, and I’m the only one that doesn’t know the name of the game? And more important, why do we have to play the game? And is there anyone else who is feeling as an alien?

And where are all this questions coming from?

send out your ray of sunshine

2009-12-09T04:41:00.000+01:00

.. ..

I recently discovered a blog to which I become addicted, and simplicity of it inspired me to put my own thoughts on a virtual paper. I’m gonna try to be bold and frank in writing, and hope my words will be honest and spontaneous. ....

As some of the people in my life know - moves were never a problem for me, but when it comes to words, well, finding the ones that will describe the best "a beautiful mess" of my head can be a problem.....

.. ..

And I’m stuck again…....

.. ..

Ok, here we go.....

.. ..

About a year ago, I gave to myself the most precious gift, Yoga classes. I didn’t know what to expect, and for sure didn’t expect to turn my world upside down. And just to let you know - ground is still shaking, trying to set the balance. ....

I didn’t expect to be so hard – and it is, I’m not going to lie, so hard that on each class ” For a few seconds I even hate Yoga" – like my favorite blog writer wrote. ....

I took me quite a while to realize that that’s just a resistance game that my mind loves to play. I took me quite a while to accept that the world I created represents just a game, with different actors in different surroundings, which I’m constantly playing. And yeah, life is a game, but I don’t have to be an actress to play it. I can just be me. One of the hardest thing, but I love each second on the “stage’. Because I’m present to be me in very this moment. ....

.. ..

But if I can use just one word to describe it, I would say: Yoga is simply BEAUTIFUL.....

To use my favorite verse: “Somehow the Sun keeps shining upon you”. ....

It gives me freedom, and a chance to be me, real me, in this now moment. How often do you let yourself to be just you?....

I get answers to all the questions that my mind creates, even when I’m not asking. And never will stop asking.....

It is a journey, a wonderful journey of knowledge. I learn how to understand and accept myself – mind, body, soul – all together, as well as way to understand and accept others. And this is not always easy, but the thing is, it doesn't have to be. You just have to keep your mind wide opened. I discovered (and still do) peace, honesty and simple life truths – which I would love to share with all the people I know, consciousness, gratitude, smiles, patience, love, life, and how to respect it, people, myself - all the little things that spin the world. Happiness is knocking on the door too (guess it is shy :), and I do open the door. ....

....

This journey is scary, but of all of my fears, this is the one that will never end. I would love to see passengers joining. Just live in the present – in just this moment.....

.. ..

And remember: amazing thing is that we all have so much beauty inside ourselves; we just have to wake it up and allow it to meet the beauty of the world. Because, the world is beautiful – just look the Sun.....

And send out your ray of sunshine.