I was feeling marvelous after reading a new blog entry from my favorite blogger, and I was pissed off after a fight I had whit my sister, and happy for finally making a proper food to eat, and angry because of another raining afternoon, and spilled coffee, and excited to come to work to my newly assigned duties, and furious because people do not act the way I want to.
I love to feel! Isn't it the most fabulous thing in the world? To feel?
So why this blog entry?
All of these mixed up emotions made me think.
So I fell all the love in this world for a virtual guy, which I don't really know if I'll ever meet, and when it comes to real, everyday people, why do I so easily loose this love?
Why can I whit the same desire expect whit what will my 6 years old niece surprise me next.
Why do I so easily hang up on my sister?
When did I last time said to my mother I love you? And I do.
I think I'm scared of emotions. I don't even know how to recognize all of them and which names to give them. My parents never learned me how. They never supported the whole idea of expressing the emotions. And now when my feelings are so strong that I feel my body is going to fall apart, my body reacts in a self - defense way.
Tears in the eyes, uncontrollable laughter, and what's the voice that's coming out from my mouth?
And no matter if those are positive emotions, my body is fighting.
My dear friends, please push to my emotions.
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5 comments:
oh, I know what you're talking about. no encouragement of emotional expressions in my childhood either. so now, when something happens i often have no idea if i'm feeling something and if i am, what the hell it is. that's why i'm trying to write down what happens at "20do2" but i'm not really sure it's working for me.
feeling is the greatest thing in the world but i think sharing is even better :). i sometimes feel restrained. scared, too. of feeling and of what it might mean, where it might take me and all the other irrationales.
if i learned one thing from playing poker, that is that you should take a chance and raise the bet. play the blind and risk. he who dares wins :)
i very often don't. what if i did? i would like to push myself there... sometimes i'm a scared rabbit, sometimes i'm a brave lioness :)
i wanna be bold.
i even thought of an experiment: if i had like three more days on this planet, or something like that, what would i say and who would i like to say it to? i'm thinking about actually doing it. i'm scared of it, but maybe i will win that pot. maybe i will get all the good cards. being in an emotional spotlight is scary and i tremble but the more i do it, the better it will feel.
let's open.
<3
I think that's the reason of my love for Jason Mraz ( I know that sometimes I can be quite annoying whit pulling out his name in every occasion ). But yes, he is someone that I look up when it comes to things I care about.
I think that's why Yoga is such an important, hm, thing? No, state of mind.
Yoga for me is a state of mind.
So why did I easily decided not to practice it anymore? Because my body was fighting.
I think we are bold. Maybe not as much as we would like to be. Maybe others don't see that, but I consider myself to be bold.
Bold when it comes to outsource, to the activities, but quite a mouse like when it comes to indoor world, or expressing it.
So, yes my dear, I think happiness is sharing and if we are bold enough to blog about it, I think good cards are yet to be open.
We can start whit expressing the opinion, and emotions will follow.
Love you too.
Yes, I think we are bold! and i'm gonna be even more :)
i was thinking how people don't tell each other how they feel, about each other and about themselves and everything else. when was the last time you told someone you loved them?
this song reminds me of a piece of me :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjeoXDHpH_c
surprisingly, not so long ago.
which is quite a wonderful thing.
I have even started to write a blog about my friends and how great you are.
I want to acknowledge your presence in my life.
i told people they keep my heart warm.
you have to know how special you are and how much you all mean to me. that's sort of been on my mind in the past month, that's why i haven't done any homework :p
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