Book of Dreams

In my book of dreams you couldn’t find a single story, not one… until recently.

And I’m not talking about day dreams, where you are imagining things you would like to have, like: the perfect friends, perfect significant other, perfect life, job, wedding etc… I’m referring to the actual during-the-sleep dreams.

I think I can count on my fingers the nights when I actually had a dream, and the sad thing is I cannot really remember what was in the dream I had, except that it was some ordinary everyday situation. Sometimes I catch myself in a “déjà vu” situation, which I’ve already gone trough in my dreams and I know what is going to happen next, and that experience is freezing and frightening for me. It’s like I’m some kind of a prophet if I can use this word.

But past dreams are not the reason to posting my thoughts. Just the opposite, I’m full of dreams this year, so full that there are moments where I cannot say if something actually happened in the reality or it is just a picture from my dreams. This experience is fresh and new to me, and it absolutely blows my mind. Is it time to ask myself, am I loosing my common sense? If is it true what Froyd said about dreams, than for sure I’m in the most normal stage of my life.

My legs are in the sea, I’m trying to figure a way to cross to the other side of the rocks, and suddenly something is lifting me and I’m loosing myself in the air and becoming a part of it, I’m becoming the air, the rock, the sea, I can see things from the top and the bottom, from the inside, from the outside, all at the same time, everything that exists in this world at the same time, being all of that at the same time. Is this a dream? Are my eyes closed? Why can I feel the smile on my face? Why am I conscious? Why am I running from this dream and opening my eyes, is it the fear of the magnificent whatever I think this is?

Why every dream I dream these days are related to water?

I’m laying in the sun, concrete beach, sea looks like pool, J is here, my dad as well, he understands English. We are in the car, this time T is here too, J takes my hand, playing with it, I look like I’ve just got out from a French movie, and I’m in the sea again, trying to avoid big ships… Wtf???

Should I try to find a secret meaning to it? Is there any secret meaning? Is there a reason for not having dreams in the past, and to have them now in this moment? My friend said a wonderful thing to me; dreams are reflections of our fears and our wishes/desires. I couldn’t agree more. But I would like to add a thought to it. My personal belief is that dreams come to us when we truly live our lives, when we feel things, when we are in touch with our emotions, when we are bold enough to be ourselves in the reality.

So simple…