The Smiths Night

There is a storm outside and I have troubles sleeping this night.

Morrissey is singing. I think The Smiths are perfect for this weather. I forgot how much I love his songs. Maybe it crossed your mind that I’m “Miserable now”, but fortunately it is just the opposite.

I love the way this year started. And I wish for the entire year to be colored with simple but wonderful moments I already had a pleasure to experience. It took me a long time to realize that I have to start being grateful for everything in my life, and I hated myself each day (just a bit) because I just couldn’t find that feeling in me. I can proudly say that this year begun with experiencing and realizing amazing state of mind, gratitude. I can easily say: I’m grateful for my friends, and for the love and honesty they have for me. I’m grateful for the time they are willing to share, for every story and feeling they have the need to give me, and for my joy in accepting its. I’m grateful for the love and respect I feel for my friends and family, and grateful to finally have the courage to show them this. I feel like I’m free from the ghosts of the past and that I don’t have anymore place inside of me for the past deeds anger. It’s like someone took a really heavy baggage off of my soul I would say.

One of the things I was surprised to see among my friends is the ability to easily and happily acknowledge my presence. And not just mine. And not just the presence. Of course I wondered how come I didn’t see this before, and the only explanation I can find is in a book I have just finished reading, and which I strongly recommend: “Ensaio sobre a Cegueira” – “Blindness” from Jose Saramago. We have all became so consuming and fast living that we started to being blind while there is nothing wrong with our eyes. And being like that we are missing all the small joys that life offers, like simple ”Thank you”. I don’t wanna judge myself or the others, and I’m sure this is not the first time you heard this. I just want to and I’m gonna start to pay the attention, no matter how hard it may be. I wish for myself to acknowledge the presence of me, and the presence of my friends and family. And being hard with words, this is a though one.

So the “mission” for this year is to find a reason in each day to say:” Now my heart is full”.

This is the “Life resolution”.

In Joy…