Thoughts on gratitude

I asked for help from my mom during this healing process of my thyroid desease. For the first time. It was a nockdown for me. Because I'm used to being strong and doing everything on my own. But, honestly, shearing my thoughts, fears, vulnerabilty just took a huge stone of my shoulders and guess what, I survived. In one of our conversations she told me this: there is so much to be grateful about.you don't have a jerk husband who is misstreathing you, you don't have a job where you gonna be stressed out, you don't have any obligation most of the girls your age have and that's your freedom. I was like, mom, to me, that's not meaning of life, at least my life.
But today, I got thinking about those words. Yes, I am lucky for not having all of that. Because I know how hard it is to share 30 years of your life with someone who never said anything nice to you, or about you. I am lucky for not having someone who's not gonna support me, not going to care about me and going to be upset bcs there is no lunch on the table.
I always wanted a lot, and I will not settle for less than I deserve! I admit being lost for quite some time. I admit I forgot who am I. I admit I forgot about my dreams and wishes.
But this is the promise I'm giving to myself: I will appreciate my life again, I will find a way back to my new old self, I will nurture my dreams, hopes and wishes, I will ask for a support from others, I will let go of things and people who are not bringing me any good.