Thyroid problem

Well fuck!!!
I'm emotionally tired, I'm fucking tired. There is no better explanation of my condition. Emotions are everywhere and just when you think things are getting into the right place, just one word is enough to fuck up everything.
My doctor confirmed today I need to have thyroid removal operation. Complete thyroid out. And same as 6 weeks ago, my initial reaction was to cry. Today I cried my heart out. It's hard to explain what happened in my body, mind and soul. It's like having an apple and that apple falls down the stairs. The first and the major pain is the hardest and leaves the biggest wound. As the apple keeps going down the stairs, with every new step, you get more and more wounded. Punch after punch. And each one is stronger and harder and leaves a lot of marks and keeps destroying an apple. In this analogy, an apple is my body mind and soul. After the first bad information for which you are not prepared, you feel so hurt, so empty, so all over the place and all you need is for someone to pick up the apple and say it will be fine. After you have been destroyed from the inside it's hard to process every other information as it is. You see everything trough that wounded place. And every information feels like a punch into a stomach and your face. The next info gives you even stronger punch and you have no idea how things fell apart and how to collect yourself and get into the peacefull zone.
I shouldn't be communicating with people when I'm in that state of body, mind and soul. I shouldn't make desitions in that state. All I need is for people to hug me with their words, actions, intentions.
Because after all these punches I feel drained. I feel so tired, I feel like everything inside of me has been pulled out and put back together in a rush and now I'm left with a mess I need to sort out somehow. But I have no strenght to do that. That's the catch. Have no strenght. And I should be focusing on getting better. To find a way to get back to a positive state of mind. But I also need to stop expecting from myself to be and feel perfect. I also need to tell others I need love, attention, to remind me I'm overreacting.
I apologize for making a mess when there shouldn't be one.