There's no need to be angry, it's ok to be sad

Dear Tristan,


I'm writing this letter as if I'm writing a thank you letter to my dearest friend.

Couple of months ago I mentioned you in one of my tweets, and you were really kind enough to reply to it. I was at the beginning of a break up that kept going on and on, and I was really asking myself the other day, just as you are in "My oh My" - how many times can we say goodbye. You said the most amazing thing to me then, you said: hang in their sweet pea.. it's just the process of what has to happen...it will pass. & u will come out better than b4. i know it Sucks tho. sending you love love love.

And I was so looking forward to your new album, because I knew it will give me answers I was looking for, the kind of strenght I wasn't finding, even though I was trying. And every time I would bump to a new song on a youtube I was over the top excited, because every new song and every word written just touched my soul, and helped me accept the reality - which was the break up that had to have an end.

I played "Marry you" so many times, day after day, after day, that I think I know every live version on yt I could find. And every day it hurted a bit less. I love that song to pieces, and never believed that someone who I don't even know in person, can so easily describe exact thoughts and feelings and fears I was experiencing in the past months. I don't cry anymore when that song is playing. It still hurts, the experience, but I think I collected the pieces of me.

For the past few days I was rereading your blog. I don't know why. Just felt right to me. And I found so many affirmations I just had to put on my wall. It was an eye opening. I always admired your ability to be so openly vulnerable and to deal so publicly with your pain, and I admire even more your strenght and the better version of yourself after everything you went trough.

On your blog I found a song Come Clean, and for some reason I googled it, and like the Universe was on my side at that moment, one of the hits was an online version of Cedar+Gold. It was just at the right moment in time, because my ex just came back to my reality the day before. And I was screaming noooooo, I don't want you here, not now, not again, you're no good for me. And as soon as I played Cedar+Gold it was a full circle for me. The end of the agony. A closure I much needed. I can't even describe what was I feeling at that moment when Say Anything started playing. I cried, like a baby. I was happy, excited, like I came home, jumping, smiling, laughing my heart out, and then crying every emotion I kept inside of me. What a boost of energy, happiness, strength, acceptance. Like I finally gave myself permission to be ok, to put everything that happened behind me. never ever had I thought the music will have that influence on me. That the music will give this to me.

I was crazy on my twitter yesterday, as you saw, but I just had to share the joy I was experiencing.

Today my friend tweeted this about your album: this album is amazing !!!! My reply was this:i feel like it came out of my heart!to me is so healing.i love it!just amazing!
She wrote one thing to that statement of mine: best description about music..ever

And I cried. Because your music, this album really feels like I wrote it. Every word has a healing energy. With every words I'm closer to myself. With every note I'm in a better place. It just gives me a lot of hope I started losing.

And for that, my dearest Tristan, I'm forever grateful to you.